In times...

Lately it seems as if everything I can think of is just falling before me...decisions I must make, things I have to choose that will help determine my near future. They seem so futile, but it is in those moments that I realize how much more I know I NEED God, my Father, Dad, to be right there next to me, encouraging me to keep pressing on--to keep moving forward with what He has planned for me rather than worry about what I have in mind.

My heart has been so heavy lately and sometimes it feels like I have no idea what is going on inside of me, but I think that is just because there is so much that is going on that it is overwhelming on some level. I just want to sit and cry sometimes until no more tears come out, but then reality hits...I'm supposed to be the one who is always strong and never cries right? I am the one who doesn't show that emotion. I am slowly...slowly learning that it is ok to cry. Believe me when I say that it is a slow process. It isn't something that I am ok with doing.

God's strength is more evident to me when I want to cry more than any time, but I also know more in those times than ever that I can just fall into His arms and trust that He is faithful in all circumstances--good and trying. He holds me when I want to cry, He comes looking for me even when I stray and He cares for me always.